Will you blow on my dice?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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