dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
