dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
