You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He told me they were just razor bumps!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
