The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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