Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
