Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
