I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
