You smell like stripper and shame
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
