Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm getting married
To pizza
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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