But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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