You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
