He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Define "chronic" masturbator.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
ttyl tear gas
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
