dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
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