Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
