I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hope mine doesn't look like that
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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