Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
