dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
