your parents love me but you hate me
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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