toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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