bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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