I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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