I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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