so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
