so explain again why im purple
no
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
