Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
no you cant smoke seaweed
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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