we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
