maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
