He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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