you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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