The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
