Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
