Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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