I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
