The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
