I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
