I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
