Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
