I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
