I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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