im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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