I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
