Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
