my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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