Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize