Me. At least after what I've been through.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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