You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
