Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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