I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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