The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
