sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
