So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
