Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
