Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
