eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
