you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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