We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
