i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
