so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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