There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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