the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize