The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
