heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
