I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
