You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
