I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
