were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize